Duct Tape, Name Tags & Restroom Stalls...

There is no doubt in my mind a mere fraction of this story is credible, however it made for interesting conversation during this morning’s drive to elementary school:

Me: Where’s your ID badge?
Pea: In the basket at school.
Me: That’s a good idea, then the badges can stay fresh for the next day.
Pea: But they DON'T! Because there’s this boy who takes scissors and cuts them all in half.
Bug: (a.k.a. my innocent and gullible child) No! How does he do that?
Pea: In the restroom. In the second stall, the one without the lock.
Bug: The stall with all the…bad words... written in pencil?
Pea: Yes, he writes the bad words on the wall everyday and then cuts up name tags!
Bug: Do you have to glue your badge back together?
Pea: (And my little Kentucky girl shines through…) We just use duck tape.
Bug: What color duck tape, the black color or the gray color.
Pea: Gray. Everyone’s ID badge is taped together with gray duck tape and put in a basket.
Bug: I saw D word and the S word in the bathroom!
Me: (Slight panic, but remaining silent to encourage conversation, as the two have forgotten I am in the car at all, let alone driving.)
Pea: Did you see the F word? (shrinks to a whisper) F-U-N-K-Y.
Bug: Funky? Why is that a bad word?
Pea: BECAUSE.
Bug: Well, it’s not as bad as the D word (shrinks to a whisper) You know, D-U-M-B. Or the S word (whisper) S-T-U…I’m not even going to say the rest!
Pea: At least the kid who wrote it gets detention every single day. He has to sit in the classroom. But the bad thing is, he sits near the BASKET.
Bug: The basket of name badges!
Pea: Yes. And it will only be a matter of time before he finds more scissors and starts cutting them in half again!
Bug: (gasp) Maybe this time you can use a different color of duck tape to fix them.