The Good-As-New Car's Cover

I’m not used to having trees in the yard. Our home in Kentucky was in a fairly new neighborhood, and the trees were little saplings compared to New Orleans trees. The trees in this yard are beyond beautiful. From what I’m told, they are among the first on this street. Their branches tower overhead and make an archway from the driveway, over the walkway, over the porch, to the roof. It is always shady in our front yard. In the back yard where we live, there is a lovely tree that overhangs from the neighbor’s yard providing shade and endless “secret-fort” playtime for the Bug and the Pea. The roots burst up from the ground forming a labyrinth of canals. I love to sit on the covered patio during a rainstorm and watch the showers of water cascade down the branches onto the roots below, creating muddy puddles. (Also a favorite moment for the kiddos, dancing in the rain under the tree branches. Spinning circles with their arms outstretched until they collapse into the wet grass, dizzy and giggling.)
We’re also fond of watching the wildlife. Mourning doves, and other birds perch on boughs overhead. Lizards scurry along the picket fence beneath the trees. Squirrels jet up and down the tree trunks, using branches as bridges from one tree to the next.
I park my car under the shade of the tree arch, in the driveway. The creatures of the air are especially fond of my automobile. They show their appreciation by pooping on the windshield, the car’s “sky light,” and the hood. Sometimes, an especially clever bird will figure out how to deliver droppings down the passenger and driver side windows. I realize they can’t help it. (Or can they?) Nevertheless, my white car is splattered with bird poopy on a fairly regular basis. The kids take great joy in this fact. They know it means we’ll visit the gas station often to use the windshield cleaner scraper tool. You would not believe the zeal shown by the girls as they wield the squeegee, dip it in water, splash it on the windshield and scrape away the birdie doo-doo.
Nevertheless, it was time to hit the car wash for some heavy duty scrubbing. I was running some errands and I happened to see a fellow holding a sign that said: Car Wash $20. I usually run the car through the automatic car wash, so $20 was a bit steeper than usual. But, what the hey? My poor car was in dire straights. The gentleman took one look at my car and tried not to faint from pure mortification. “What I’d suggest,” he began as he walked around the car, “is The Works.” Now THAT sounded like a plan. Unfortunately, I was informed that said “Works” cost $400. I tried not to laugh in the poor gentleman’s face. How was he to know I just spent well over a thousand dollars repairing my poor 1998 vehicle?
I put on a straight face and asked for something more in the “Let’s just get off the baked-on bird poop” category. He talked me up to a carpet shampoo and a car wash, and we both felt satisfied with the arrangement. I handed him the keys and stepped inside to await the finished product. The husband called and I told him he was going to see a Good As New Car when he came home. He suggested I purchase an inexpensive cover to keep said Good As New Car, well, good as new. A little preventative measure to preserve the cleanliness.
The fellows worked like dogs in the hot sun scrubbing and vacuuming and wiping down the windows on my car. It felt wonderful to drive off in a car that was actually white and not splattered with dirt, dust, and do-do. In fact, I felt so confident I drove straight to pick up a car cover and then back home in time to meet the kids at the bus stop.
The Bug and the Pea immediately noticed the Good As New Car. I imagine this was because their feet didn’t actually stick to the floor mats and their hineys weren’t surrounded by crumbs and wadded up pieces of paper in the back seat. We ran some errands together, and grabbed some Chik-fil-a nuggets on the ride home. The Bug was “starving” after her school day, and couldn’t wait until we got home to tear open the box of nuggets. (Breaded processed chicken products dipped in a sugary and/or mustard sauce = heaven in the Bug’s world.) She opened her favorite bright red Polynesian dipping sauce and began her meal. As we were pulling into the driveway, she squeals, “Mama! I spilt the whole package of sauce down the seat and on the floor! I don’t have enough napkins to clean it all up!”
Needless to say, I spent the next few minutes re-cleaning my Good As New Car. Scrubbing floor mats as the Bug sprayed cleaner on the seats and wiped with paper towels. As we concluded our job, and headed under the archway toward the front door we both heard the SPLAT. I turned around in time to see bird poopy cascading down the windshield. A christening of sorts. And I continued to head inside in search of the newly purchased car cover…