Too Stinkin' Old For School Photos...

Just when ya think you've left those days of really BAD school pictures behind you... a new school portrait rears it's ugly head (or rather, your ugly head...)
So I was walking by the faculty mailboxes this morning, and I noticed the proofs were back from yearbook pictures. Butterflies filled my stomach, because I just KNEW this portrait was going to be THE ONE. And when I say The One, I mean - the only decent school picture I have ever taken in the history of me having school pictures taken. No more glasses or braces or awkward nervousness, I'm a grown up now, by golly! Confident, cool, collected.
I reached into my cubby mailbox and pulled out... a picture of the living dead. I'm not even sure how (or why) I let myself out of the house looking like that!? I couldn't have been paler. And what in the world was that look on my face? Shock? Surprise? It's not as if I was caught off guard. I stood behind a long line of children to have my portrait taken, I KNEW what was coming.
My new Driver's License picture is not much better. (My birthday was this past week, and I was required to renew my license). I drove down to the courthouse in the afternoon. After the lunch crowd, before the 'last minute, they're gonna close' crowd. It was a beautiful day, I was in a smiley mood. I was the ONLY one in line, the only one. I had my renewal notice ready, my check written out...could not have made the whole process easier for the clerk. And yet, she literally GROWLED at me. "Back against the blue wall!" she grumbled, all of a sudden. "Excuse me?" I asked politely, I honestly didn't know what she was talking about. "The blue wall!" she growled. I turned around, the entire office was blue, it wasn't as if only one small part was marked. It finally dawned on me that she was ready to take my picture, and I scooted over toward the camera. The clerk shot me a look as if I was the one who was completely insane. I smiled at the camera, and stood smiling...for awhile. She was typing something, then writing something, then she was walking around. I stopped smiling, clearly she wasn't ready to take the picture. FLASH. Seriously? What did she have? A remote to the camera? A sixth sense about when to snap the most awful picture possible?
Anyhoooo.... The Pea brought home her proofs too. God love her. The sweet thing looks like she's doing 'hard time' for a heinous crime. The Bug's proofs must be coming home tomorrow, heaven help us.
The moral of this story: There Is No Such Thing As A Good School Picture.
Nevertheless, hope springs eternal. And I will be first in line for "make up" pictures in two weeks...